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me n my turtle boyfriend

me: wow ur so hard
him: that me shell

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

(via lordryan8404)

joshpeckofficiall:

this picture is so important

nicodicat:

DO YOU EVER SEE YOUR FRIENDS POST SELFIES AND THEY’RE JUST SO CUTE AND ADORABLE THAT YOU KIND OF JUST image

(via lordryan8404)

tupacabra:

introductory paragraph of my essay:

image

(via lordryan8404)

8yearoldslut:

me arriving at the gates of hell

ifyoucarryonthisway:

hello 911 my sock is falling down inside my shoe 

(Source: averagefairy, via ivoryblk)